Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
please don't ironically join a cult
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