last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
