i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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