Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize