3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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