i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
