So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
