I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
