They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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