I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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