ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
