my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize