Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
