Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
