i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
