Having a random hookup so left but love u
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
