He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
