shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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