Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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