he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize