If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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