and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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