The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
