You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
