he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
