well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize