are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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