MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
