So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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