If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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