i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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