i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He felt like a one man threesome
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
