All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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