so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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