Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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