its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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