Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
