White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
