Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
and she was petting her beer can
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
