yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
