Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
