Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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