he told me I talked like a deaf person
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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