I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
