Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Pants are for mortals
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
