I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
