hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
