yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
being pregnant is like rehab
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
