i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
