Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
