I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
