If i come over, it means nothing
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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