I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
