dude i'm inner monologue high
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
