he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
