I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize