PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
