when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
