yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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