I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
