i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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